Consuming Thoughts.

Do you ever wonder why you stop doing what you love? When I started this blog in 2010 it was about turning my thoughts and feelings into words, into concrete ideas that helped me better understand the changing circumstances around me. Largely my story was about changing from a selfish husband into the Dad, Husband, overall person I wanted to be. Certainly the journey didn't end with my last post in November of 2011. I just haven't written about it. There is certainly love lost for all the great things that happened without getting it on 'paper'.

I am again on a path of self reflection, not because of a large life event, but because there is something inside of me that makes me want to 're-invent' myself every couple of years - to throw Joe 2.0 out the window, and create the new and improved Joe. Reinvention could be fueled by my ever-evolving, internalized self critical nature. I don't often share my deep pitfalls with others - especially the ones that keep me up at night (most are rooted into times where I let others down). That sometimes leads me to wonder if people around me think that I THINK I'm perfect. I am far, far from it personally, professionally. In every nook and cranny of my life there are areas that I am flawed. I don't like it - at all. If I were to funnel everything into one opportunity - I want to be a better leader for my family, job, and other commitments (mainly fraternity stuff).

I want to use this blog again to talk through my thoughts in hopes of figuring out how to do these things better. I especially owe this betterment to my family, friends, and colleagues.

Announcing Baby Peanut!! 

Oh, and btw Jane and I are expecting again! We are 11 weeks in, and love seeing and reading about how baby peanut is growing so fast. We couldn't be happier to have a little brother/sister for Grayson. We have already read a couple of 'big brother' books a couple of times with him. He is going to make an amazing, loving and caring big brother. Thanks to Marcela Clinton for grabbing these shots for us!!

Even when being a typical two year old during pictures he still captures our hearts. 

I really love this picture. Thanks, Marcela!!

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Time to Reinvent?

Has anyone else ever felt like they need to reinvent themselves? I've had this feeling for a little bit. Mainly that what I have been doing to be successful the past year isn't what is required any more, that I need to perfect new skills and focuses. I've always considered myself good at change, and able to deal with ambiguity, but lately I've been short fused (and I assume not too fun to be around). Sorry, Jane!

There are those out there that believe you can never really reinvent your true self, but can only work harder at showing and proving the parts of your life you choose to. I'm not too sure of the science behind it, but Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdmon for Complex Lives via Google tells me there are 5 steps to reinvent myself.

Taken directly from Tiny Buddha:

1. Create a vision for your future.

Sit quietly, close your eyes, and imagine the people, places, or situations that you need to leave behind. Now imagine the future that you want, whether it’s simply a feeling, a group of people, or a situation such as a wonderful new job.

Imagine how it will feel to be in that new place. Picture the sun coming up behind your future, the warm glow of the light on your face.

Stand for a moment and silently voice your appreciation of everything that came before. Once you’ve thanked the past, turn towards the sun, and with compassion and gratitude, imagine yourself walking away from the past and into the future.

2. Write about your reinvention.

Imagine a scene from it, or write about how you’d like it to play out. Where are you living? What do you do in the mornings, afternoon, evenings? Who are your friends? What do you spend your days doing?

Continue writing for as long as this exercise feels invigorating and exciting. Write scenes, dialogues, lists, plans. Make the future come alive. Write about how it will feel to be there. Keep your writing somewhere where you will look at it occasionally. Feel free to add to it.

3. Surround yourself with visual reminders of the life you’d like to create.

If it’s a new job in a particular field, put objects or images from that field someplace where you’ll see them every day. If it’s a home, find a picture of a house that you love and put it near your front door. It can be anything that reminds you of what you’re moving toward.

4. Now that you have a vision of your future, break it up into workable tasks.

What do you need to do—every day—to create that vision? Look for work? Meet new people? Search for a place to live in your chosen town? Make it specific. Make a list of everything you need to do and a schedule for when you’ll do it. Then do it and commit to keep doing it, one day at a time.

5. Every day, go back to that vision of you walking towards your future.

Every morning or evening, close your eyes, and see yourself walking into the rising sun, towards your dreams, and reconnect with why you’re moving toward this new possibility.

What do you think? Would you add or change anything?

Here is my motivation for reinventing myself.

I imagine in this picture he's saying "Whats the big deal Dad? Why do you keep saying my name and snapping your fingers?" Haha.

Man, I love this kid. Doesn't it look like he has 'judging' eyes? Takes after Daddy and Mommy.

Christmas ALREADY.

Hello, blog universe. It's been a long time since we've talked. I imagine since Grayson was only a few months old. He is now 13 months old - that makes for a lot of life to catch up on. I'll try to hit some highlights over the next few weeks.

We'll start with the latest - it's Christmas....already! Rebecca and I are definitely not known for our boring schedules. In fact, the past couple of months have been dismal - no fun, just work (which is sometimes fun and school. It has been nice to see friends again over the past week.

On to the green and red....this is our first Christmas with a large space in our living room taken up by Grayson's toys. There are so many! We put the tree in the front window, and have worked pretty hard at keeping our deco Grayson friendly (much more challenging than previously thought).

Anyways, here goes.

<> Found this canvas pillow at Target. His beard is plush. 

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Rebecca and I received this set as a wedding gift, and it has been a part of our Christmas celebration for the past 5 years. It's one of the first things we put out, and one of the last to be put up. 

<> This is true. We couldn't find an Angel or star we liked. We decided this would do for this year. Hopefully we will have better luck next year!

We have so many ornaments! We put out all of our 'unique' ornaments, and down-played the regular ball ornaments. We also had to keep most of the ornaments out of Grayson's reach. 

Here's a great video of Grayson trying to play with the tree. 

Here's how Grayson enjoyed the tree last year! Such a sweet little baby!