Time to Reinvent?

Has anyone else ever felt like they need to reinvent themselves? I've had this feeling for a little bit. Mainly that what I have been doing to be successful the past year isn't what is required any more, that I need to perfect new skills and focuses. I've always considered myself good at change, and able to deal with ambiguity, but lately I've been short fused (and I assume not too fun to be around). Sorry, Jane!

There are those out there that believe you can never really reinvent your true self, but can only work harder at showing and proving the parts of your life you choose to. I'm not too sure of the science behind it, but Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdmon for Complex Lives via Google tells me there are 5 steps to reinvent myself.

Taken directly from Tiny Buddha:

1. Create a vision for your future.

Sit quietly, close your eyes, and imagine the people, places, or situations that you need to leave behind. Now imagine the future that you want, whether it’s simply a feeling, a group of people, or a situation such as a wonderful new job.

Imagine how it will feel to be in that new place. Picture the sun coming up behind your future, the warm glow of the light on your face.

Stand for a moment and silently voice your appreciation of everything that came before. Once you’ve thanked the past, turn towards the sun, and with compassion and gratitude, imagine yourself walking away from the past and into the future.

2. Write about your reinvention.

Imagine a scene from it, or write about how you’d like it to play out. Where are you living? What do you do in the mornings, afternoon, evenings? Who are your friends? What do you spend your days doing?

Continue writing for as long as this exercise feels invigorating and exciting. Write scenes, dialogues, lists, plans. Make the future come alive. Write about how it will feel to be there. Keep your writing somewhere where you will look at it occasionally. Feel free to add to it.

3. Surround yourself with visual reminders of the life you’d like to create.

If it’s a new job in a particular field, put objects or images from that field someplace where you’ll see them every day. If it’s a home, find a picture of a house that you love and put it near your front door. It can be anything that reminds you of what you’re moving toward.

4. Now that you have a vision of your future, break it up into workable tasks.

What do you need to do—every day—to create that vision? Look for work? Meet new people? Search for a place to live in your chosen town? Make it specific. Make a list of everything you need to do and a schedule for when you’ll do it. Then do it and commit to keep doing it, one day at a time.

5. Every day, go back to that vision of you walking towards your future.

Every morning or evening, close your eyes, and see yourself walking into the rising sun, towards your dreams, and reconnect with why you’re moving toward this new possibility.

What do you think? Would you add or change anything?

Here is my motivation for reinventing myself.

I imagine in this picture he's saying "Whats the big deal Dad? Why do you keep saying my name and snapping your fingers?" Haha.

Man, I love this kid. Doesn't it look like he has 'judging' eyes? Takes after Daddy and Mommy.

Christmas ALREADY.

Hello, blog universe. It's been a long time since we've talked. I imagine since Grayson was only a few months old. He is now 13 months old - that makes for a lot of life to catch up on. I'll try to hit some highlights over the next few weeks.

We'll start with the latest - it's Christmas....already! Rebecca and I are definitely not known for our boring schedules. In fact, the past couple of months have been dismal - no fun, just work (which is sometimes fun and school. It has been nice to see friends again over the past week.

On to the green and red....this is our first Christmas with a large space in our living room taken up by Grayson's toys. There are so many! We put the tree in the front window, and have worked pretty hard at keeping our deco Grayson friendly (much more challenging than previously thought).

Anyways, here goes.

<> Found this canvas pillow at Target. His beard is plush. 

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Rebecca and I received this set as a wedding gift, and it has been a part of our Christmas celebration for the past 5 years. It's one of the first things we put out, and one of the last to be put up. 

<> This is true. We couldn't find an Angel or star we liked. We decided this would do for this year. Hopefully we will have better luck next year!

We have so many ornaments! We put out all of our 'unique' ornaments, and down-played the regular ball ornaments. We also had to keep most of the ornaments out of Grayson's reach. 

Here's a great video of Grayson trying to play with the tree. 

Here's how Grayson enjoyed the tree last year! Such a sweet little baby!

Jenna's Journal Drive

Mmmm....cereal.

I've realized that life is a stream of conscious decisions - do I take out the trash tonight or hope I remember tomorrow morning? should I make dinner tonight or pray that she offers first? Our life is full of questions that have to be answered. The way we deal with the questions effects what happens next, action/no action causes change/no change.

A couple of months ago I blogged about Frachesca and Jenna from Small Bird Studio. The studio does an amazing job designing and refreshing blog sites for everyday people. I am excited to share that she is starting a project that all of us can make a conscious decision to support. She's gathering blank journals to distribute to Mothers of recently passed babies. Journaling can be a great way for these mothers to start the healing process, while documenting important memories of the fleeting time with their tiny loved ones.

Please take a moment to find a journal and send on to Franchesca or visit her site to donate through PayPal.

Expectations of a Father

It has been a few months since I've blogged. Blogging is something that I enjoy, but rarely find the time/creativity to put my thoughts into meaningful words. I could drone on and on about meaningless things, but for some reason I have this idea that everything I post needs to be thought provoking/engaging. I realize my last couple of posts of the 30 Day Challenge (which beat me!) were not life altering, but more of a small, surface level insight into myself. Even with those I felt like I needed to entertain you, my 12 readers.

The events of the past couple of weeks have shaken my role as a father almost as much as when I realized we were pregnant. In a jail/prison hundreds of miles from here sits a man who changed the lives of many, many people in a single day. Jared Loughner, a troubled man, shot, killed, and wounded over a dozen people in Arizona last week. Before Jared was a killer, distressed teenager, or high school dropout he was just a little boy. A little boy that didn't show immense anger, resentment, or any other signs that he would some day go on a shooting spree killing and wounding so many. I imagine he was a little boy much like Grayson. That his father had a lot of feelings I have for Grayson- helpless when he is sick, excitement about what he'll become in life, fear of not doing enough or doing too much for his son.

The other night I was holding Grayson, and he started to look at me in the eyes, going deeper and deeper into my soul. I couldn't help but feel such a strong, spiritual connection with him. It was almost like he was saying "I love you", having not uttered his first word yet. Even when just thinking about it again, I get shaken up. I become overwhelmed with a sense of love and accomplishment, but also that my role as a father isn't finished. With all of the well wishes and expectations I have for Grayson I am still shaping the beginning of his path. That my job is to set him up for a life full of love, accomplishment and prosperity.

Do you think this is any different that what Jared's father felt? Do you think there was anything different about Jared's upbringing? It is next to impossible for us to know. There are so many small things in a child's life that impact his path. I just can't help but wonder what happened to Jared for him to be full of so much hate that he did all of this. Because I fear whatever happened during his childhood wasn't anything big or of major consequence my desire for Grayson is that his upbringing is one that sets him up to succeed, to be emotionally stable. I must be a father with Grayson's interest at heart 100% of the time. I must protect him against the things that will be thrown at him, that will challenge his stability and love for the world. I must provide for, and help build him up so he resists the path of Jared and others like him. Grayson loves everyone, and really enjoys so many different people. I hope whatever happens that never changes.

I am not writing any of this in defense of Jared Loughner, his parents, or any other psychotic people/ideology thats involved. Just sharing how becoming a father has changed how I process different situations. Before Grayson I would have been sad for the families. But because I am entrusted with Grayson I feel a huge sense of weight to make sure he doesn't go down a similar path.

My prayers go out to the victims and their families. A special prayer for all of my fellow parents asking that we all find a learned lesson in this tragedy - that while we cannot control everything our children do, but that we can start them off on a path of love and acceptance.

Best Gift of 2010 ~ Grayson Thomas