Blueberry is...

It's been a while since our last update. Life has been moving too fast to do more than just think about blogging. I never imagined how much I would miss it, but I do. There is something relaxing about putting your thoughts on paper/keyboard.

We finally had our 20 week ultrasound and Blueberry is a BOY. We were very excited to learn this because we both hoped to have a boy first. For me life has always been better with a big brother. Whether it's for torture during childhood or for guidance as an adult my brother, Robert, always gave me what I needed.

Naming Blueberry has been a feat. We went into the sonogram with a short list of boy names, but after we learned the sex the list grew exponentially. Every time we heard a name we liked it would get added to the list. I believe the "short list" grew to 30+ names. Naming Blueberry dominated all of our conversations for weeks.

Rebecca and I finally decided that Blueberry shall be called...Grayson Thomas.

Blueberry's first name (Grayson) never even made it to the short/long list. It was the only name that we both loved as soon as we heard it. The name is both childlike and adult and I think will serve our little blueberry well. Grayson. Gray. Son. We love it.

Thomas, Grayson's middle name, has more of a history. Family is very important to both of us and this name creeped higher on the list every day. Thomas has been in both of our families for generations and all four sides of the family. I can't imagine a better way to honor so many loving, caring people in our family.

Thomas is also named from one of my fraternity's founders, Thomas Cowan Bell. This founder "is best remembered for his exemplification of the qualities of learning and friendship and he was full of enthusiasm; a leader and teacher of men." These are all attributes Rebecca and I hope Grayson exemplifies.

Tomorrow we are heading to Michigan to see my Mom and extended family. Mom is also throwing our first baby shower and we are extremely excited to see everyone. The baby shower is for Rebecca and Brianne, my sister in law. Robert and Brianne are due mid November and find out boy/girl tomorrow, we are very excited for them!

Ok, must continue packing. I hope to check back in with the virtual world sometime this weekend in Michigan.

Until we meet again,
Joe

What if you go in there and YOU CAN DO IT?

Isn't it weird how in the smallest, weirdest place we find inspiration or a moment of deep thought. Tuesday night while trying to sleep I was watching Biggest Loser and found a thought that won't let me go. My inspiration was not related to weight loss specifically (unfortunately), but has a broader implication to all areas of life.

Ashley, a member of the Pink mother/daughter team, has always been overweight, but packed the pounds on when her father (who was overly critical of her weight) passed away without Ashley telling her father how his actions hurt her. I can't imagine what life would be like living in constant criticism, it's ridiculous.

While Ashley was talking with her mom she said 'What if I go in there and I can't do it?' speaking of the Biggest Loser gym, her Mom replied 'What if you go in there and you can do it?'. Wow. For me it was earth shattering - What if you go in there and YOU CAN DO IT?

As soon as I heard the remarks I couldn't get them out of my head. They have caused me to live, work and play differently the past couple of days. I have asked more of myself and more of my work team and surprisingly we all have delivered. Can you imagine if we lived our life without fear of failure? What would life be like if we looked at every adventure as a possible success instead of an assumed journey to failure? There are many things that we think about doing or want to do every day, but fear failure or rejection.

What are some things you would do if you believed you would be successful?

Happy (belated) Mother's Day

This Mother's Day was very emotional for me for many reasons. 

1) I really miss my mom and my family in East TN. My next sister down, Rachel, graduated with her associate's degree on Saturday, turned 20 on Sunday, and leaves for Costa Rica today (Monday). I was not there to help her celebrate any of these achievements or help her pack for her big adventure. I haven't spent many of the past Mother's Days with my mother due to usually working or Joe working, and it is always hard for me to know that all of my family is together eating at my Nana's house. I miss those delicious meals and lively conversations around the dinner table. I have always loved my mother, but she is someone that as I "grow up" I depend on her wisdom more and more. I hate that we are so far apart, and we can't spend nearly enough time together. I am truly blessed to have the best mother in the world. I know that I am a lot like her, and I hope I continue to become more and more like her as the years go on.

2) I am beginning to reach burn out from school. I have now completed four large exams in a little over a week. The exam that I had today was awful. It was a national NBME physiology exam. I LOVED physiology in undergrad thanks to Dr. Reese, but I have not enjoyed it as much in medical school largely due to pretty crappy lecturers. I have done fairly well considering this year, but after today's exam, I feel like I haven't learned anything all year. That realization scares the crap out of me because physiology is a large part of Step 1 that I will take next summer in order to advance to my clinical rotations. 

3) This may sound crazy, but even though it "hit" me a long time ago that I was having a baby; it didn't hit me until this weekend that I was going to be a "mother." There is so much involved with being a "mother," and to tell you the truth, as of now I am scared to death. I am very excited about Blueberry, but I worry about being as good of a mother as mine was to me. I pray that God will continue to guide me and help lead me on the correct path. I also know for sure that I am not feeling Blueberry kick. I have felt several times little flutters, but I honestly didn't know if it was air or baby. This weekend Blueberry let me know that legs are growing strong. It is such a weird sensation. It feels like I am getting thumped over and over again on the inside of my stomach usually in the same spot for minutes on end. I was able to feel them outside of belly with my hand, but I couldn't get Joe's hand over it fast enough for him to feel. I hope that he soon gets to feel our little one practice soccer on my uterus. 

4) My wonderful husband did a great job of treating me right for Mother's Day. He let me sleep in, and then brought my new beach bad full of goodies to bed for me to open. He then had to go to work, and I went with him. I hung out and studied in Columbia while he worked, and then he took me out to eat afterwards. He took me to Carraba's, one of my favorites and then treated me to Cold Stone. We then came home, and I studied more while he watched 30 Rock. He really pampered me and made me feel special even though I was crazy emotional all day.

Baby Bump on Mother's Day 2010. Please ignore how terrible I look at this point in the day!!